The Importance of Tacos in Western Culture: Chapter 14
Pairings: Wade/Peter, Steve/Tony, mentioned Clintasha
Warnings: none, really. maybe a warning for anticlimactic idiocy
“It’s nothing I haven’t already seen, Peter” he replied.
“Oh, yeah, that makes me feel so much better”
Hahahahahahha…haha…..ha……………..hah…………yeah, please don’t kill me.
I’m so, so sorry
“Hello Peter” Peter swallowed a few times, licking his lips. He was so dead. Deader than dead.
“Um, hi Principal Coulson” he managed a weak smile. The bland smile he got in return chilled him to the bone, “I, um…….” he bit his lip.
“Save it. I brought a change of clothes with me, so unless you want to go home wearing that” Coulson handed over some clothes. Peter gave a exhausted smile of gratitude, reaching around behind him to unzip his suit. The smile slid from his face when he found Coulson still watching him, “Is there a problem? I assume you‘re flexible enough” Peter turned pink.
“I, um, this suit is kinda…….I can’t wear anything under it” he mumbled. Coulson raised his eyebrows.
“I still don’t see a problem” the agent looked smooth and unflusterable. Peter grimaced.
“Do you have to…….stare?” he was getting pinker. He thought he caught a flicker of a smile at the edges of Coulson’s lips.
“It’s nothing I haven’t already seen, Peter” he replied.
“Oh, yeah, that makes me feel so much better” Peter shuddered, imagining SHIELD spying on his every move. He finished unzipping the suit, angling his body away as best he could, holding the briefs over his lap, trying to get out of the suit and into them as fast as humanly possible, cheeks burning. He finished dressing, folding his suit, not daring to look at Coulson, “Are you going to tell them?” he asked. He heard a soft snort.
“No. SHIELD is still monitoring the situation, nothing more. We see no need to reveal Spiderman’s identity to anyone” Peter relaxed a little, “But they will find out” there wasn’t the slightest bit of doubt in the agent’s voice.
“I know” Peter sighed, “I know” his shoulders sagged, “How………..how did you know to save me?” he squirmed a little, daring to glance up. Coulson’s face was impassive as ever.
“An insider tip that there’s an impressive reward for anyone who can deliver Peter Parker alive to the payer. It’s classified” he said simply. Peter’s brow furrowed.
“Insider tip?” he asked.
“Classified” was the only reply. Peter sagged in his seat, “Your fathers don‘t know how much danger you were in. Let‘s keep it that way“ Peter sighed and nodded.
“How much trouble am I in at home?” he asked. The faintest traces of a smile ghosted over Coulson’s lips.
“Plenty. The good news is that everyone will be too busy being annoyed at Stark, who’s bedridden from you throwing his back out, and won’t shut up. You’ll have to face Barton, though” he said, and Peter winced.
“Is she…….?” he hesitated.
“She’s fine. It’s just her arm. It was a clean break, not at the joint, she has good bone health, and the rest is just bruises. Stark’s back will recover. I’m not so sure if you’ll recover once Barton is done with you” Coulson smiled placidly. Peter sighed and slumped over.
“Yeah, yeah, I know, I know” he rubbed his face with the heel of his palm, “Jesus Christ, I am so fucking dead” he slumped down further in his seat, sighing.
“You miserable little shit” Clint Barton had a wide, terrifying smile on his face, even as he had to tip his head back ever so slightly to look at the teenager. Peter huddled in on himself.
“Is she okay?” he asked.
“You’d better pray to Thor’s daddy that she’s okay” Clint jabbed him sharply in the chest, still smiling. Peter nodded.
“Okay. I’m sorry” he kept his head down.
“Peter!!!” his Pop was running towards him, looking so relieved that he might cry. He wrapped his arms around Peter’s neck, holding him close, “You’re safe” Peter inhaled his Pop’s familiar scent, relaxing just a little, “We were worried” Steve pressed a kiss to Peter’s temple.
“How’s Dad?” Peter said into his Pop’s broad shoulder. Steve sighed.
“He‘ll be alright. He’s confined to bed right now” Steve grimaced, and they both knew how well Tony Stark would take to being stuck in bed.
“Is he in pain?” Peter gnawed on his lip. His father smiled.
“Only when he moves” he put his arm around his son’s shoulders, leading him up towards the penthouse.
“Steeeeeeeeeeeve” Tony moaned from the bedroom. Jarvis had obviously announced their approach, “Ditch the kid and come heal me with more sex” Steve’s cheeks turned a little pink, and Peter rolled his eyes as they went into the bedroom. Tony was sprawled out on his back. He cracked one eye open and looked at Peter, “You” he said, “You dare show your face in my house?” Peter dropped his head and hunched his shoulders. Tony’s expression softened, “Hey” he said, “C’mere. Give your old man a hug, you little shit” and Peter smiled, pulling his dad up into a hug, then dropping him when he started yelping like a wounded animal.
“Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry” he blushed, backing away while Steve fussed over Tony.
“Jesus fuck” Tony panted, eyes closed, “Goddammit” he opened his eyes to look at Peter, who felt like crying, “Okay, how about this time we just shake hands” and Peter was laughing so hard he was crying.
Wade watched the tower from his vantage point, and relaxed when the car pulled up in front and Peter got out. His shoulders were hunched and he looked miserable, but he was safe. And if Peter being safe meant that SHIELD kept him holed up in that tower like Rapunzel for the rest of his life then so be it.
I am legitimately ashamed of you.
‘No one cares what you think’ Wade told the yellow box.
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